Part 8: Sermon on the Mount Series: Ouch! That Hurts!

Jesus told us in Matthew 5:10 (KJV), “Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteousness" sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” This declares that those who are persecuted for doing the right thing are blessed in the eyes of God. Even though we know we are blessed, we can still struggle with various emotions when we feel we are being wronged, such as: (disappointed, betrayed, overlooked, etc.) Sometimes, in our marriages and relationships, we can feel persecuted or wronged and have the same emotions as if we were being persecuted by someone else.

Ouch! That Hurts! Have you ever felt like saying those words when your spouse said or did something to you? We all have been there before and will probably experience that feeling in the future. 

In the last post, we discussed how to walk in peace with our spouse.

Today, we would like to discuss how to manage our emotions and internal dialogue when we feel wronged. 

Jesus is our example. He experienced persecution (being wronged), and He overcame it every time. Everyone experiences feeling wronged in life; we can't escape it, and there are various degrees of our experience of being wronged. Let’s focus on being intentional about having self-control when we feel wronged or hurt. 

Words are powerful, and when words that hurt us are spoken, we can do two things: react or respond. Words that are hurtful cause us to feel threatened. When we feel threatened, we can experience many unhealthy thought processes. We must be intentional about being aware when our minds are flooded with negative thoughts and feelings. Many people react when they experience hurt or persecution, but Jesus didn’t react; he responded. Responding begins with thinking instead of speaking. The first thing you must think about is your own emotions. 

The following are suggestions about how to keep yourself in peace and have good self-control when you feel emotionally hurt:

*Pray-tell God about your pain and ask him to heal and help you.

*Sing-sing worship songs to God

*Exercise or take a walk

*Do chores or get involved in your hobby. 

*Write-do free writing (write down whatever comes to your mind) 

*Deep Breathe-breathe in slowly to the count of 3 and exhale slowly to the count of 3. Do this several times till you feel calm. Repeat as often as you desire. 

*Journal about your feelings and thoughts.

*Gratitude-express gratitude for the things you still have or bad things that have not happened.

*Don’t make important decisions when you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed. We must ask ourselves if we are making decisions based on our emotional state or God's voice. 

It is much easier to handle hurt when we can process it from a point of calm than from a point of not being emotionally regulated. 

Self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and should be the aspiration of Jesus' followers. This week, as you look at areas that seem to provoke you to have intense feelings because you feel wronged or hurt, how will you choose to respond? Also, please don't wait until your emotions are boiling; catch yourself early so it will be easier to walk with self-control. 

This is our last blog in The Sermon on the Mount Series; please feel free to read our other blogs in this series. 

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(Note: hurt from average disappointments from our spouse can be managed. Abuse is never acceptable. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek professional help.)

Want to know more about how to have a Thriving Christian Marriage? Visit our website: www.coachustoday.com. We offer Christian relationship coaching. Explore music by Celeste on the site. Follow us on Facebook (Christian Relationship Coaching). 

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