Marriage Mission Statement: Part 6: Empathy, Encouragement, and Energizing

Thank you for joining us on this journey to construct a Marriage Mission Statement (MMS). If this is the first blog you have read about this subject, please visit our website or Facebook page and begin at Part 1 to help you correctly start your MMS. 

The acronym GUIDE stands for G-God, U-Us/Teamwork, I-Intimacy, D-Dreams, and E-Empathy/Encouragement. We will explore these more in-depth over the next few weeks. 

In this final segment of creating your MMS, we will explore how to draw close to each other and enjoy each other more. Empathy, encouragement, and energizing are significant characteristics of a healthy marriage. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another (Dictionary). A person must first hear and appreciate their spouse so they can be empathetic towards them. Being empathic with your spouse allows you to bond more deeply.  I (Kelvin) used to struggle with one area: I would tell Celeste that she shouldn’t feel a certain way or question why she felt that way. I finally understood that feelings are not necessarily true but valid for the person experiencing them. Instead of judging the rightness or wrongness of Celeste's emotions, I learned to validate and acknowledge them. Empathizing with your spouse allows you to understand how they feel, thus allowing you to take appropriate actions because of the understanding you have. 

Once we understand our spouse better, we can know how to encourage them better. You are your spouse’s greatest fan when you empathize with and speak encouraging words to your spouse. Speaking appreciation for and complimenting your spouse strengthens your marriage relationship (remember your dating years when you couldn’t keep from talking with each other). 

The final area to discuss when developing your MMS is how you will energize or refresh as a couple or independently. Empathy plays a part in this discussion as we can only know what each other needs to refresh when we understand each other better. It is just as important to rest as it is to work. You can only work effectively with rest. It is beautiful to think that God, the creator, has given us this vast world to enjoy, explore, and develop. Only by learning to understand ourselves and our spouse better and being willing to try new things will we grow and develop into the person God desires us to be and reach our fullest potential. 

Questions to help in developing your MMS:

In what way will you validate your spouse's feelings?

In what way will you seek a deeper understanding of your spouse?

What encouraging words or actions, will you do to help support your spouse?

What will we do as a couple or independently to refresh and recharge? 

What activities excite your spouse?

What activities grow your marriage?

How do you build the Sabbath into your marriage?

Let us try putting it all together. 

The below statement is only an example.

Example: We empathize with each other and grow closer by encouraging each other daily. We cry or share each other's pain, laugh, and share happy times. We compliment and say positive things about each other. We seek to understand what excites each other, and then we help support each other in activities that help energize us independently and as a couple. (You can spell out the activity here: quilting, golfing, surfing, antique shopping, etc.) We will intentionally schedule a time to rest and take a sabbath. We will go away at least (fill in how many times a year). 

The above is only an example. Please write things as you would want them to be. Sometimes, having each spouse write their section and then blending your statements is helpful. 

Now that you have completed all the sections, congratulate yourselves. The next step is to combine them all into one document and display it in a prominent place. Frequently seeing the document will help you to walk into the vision you have set for yourselves. One couple we know has it in a picture frame in their kitchen. The final step is that now that you have this powerful declarative document, how will you have accountability to hold yourself to the content? 

If you have found this helpful, please share it with others. 

Want to know more about how to have a Rockin Christian Marriage? See our online programs at www.coachustoday.com. We offer Christian relationship coaching. Explore music by Celeste on the site.  Follow us on Facebook (Christian Relationship Coaching). 

Copyright 2024 Celeste and Kelvin Gaskins