Love Never Fails: Love is Kind

“It’s nice to be kind. It’s nice to be kind. Try it!” I read this banner posted high over the street while driving in a neighboring city.

Many people recognize the importance of being kind. My cousin used to say, “Hurt people, hurt people, and people like nice people.” I think he’s right. Most people like friendly people and find it easy to like nice people.

Are you a kind person? More importantly, are you always kind to your spouse? Many people are kind to strangers and neighbors but are unkind to their spouses and children.

Jesus Christ was the most outstanding example of kindness, telling us to be kind to each other, especially our spouses. You may ask.”Why is it important to be kind?” Being kind is important because it makes people feel loved and accepted. When someone is kind to another person, that person feels valued. Jesus values everyone, and we should do the same.

Sometimes, when a person is angry with or unkind to their spouse, it is because they are experiencing pain and reacting in an unhealthy way. We understand the importance of leaning into your spouse’s pain. When you lean into your spouse's pain, you listen to understand them, you care about the pain they are experiencing, and you speak love and compassion when your spouse is hurting or in pain.

I remember times when I was unkind to my husband, who was sometimes cold to me. We were emotionally distant from each other. I was hurt and cried when my husband said mean things to me. But I didn’t know he was hurting and didn’t acknowledge his pain because I was only looking at my pain. We experienced many difficult and sad days, but praise God those days are behind us because we have learned and are learning to lean into each other's pain. The lesson we learned and want to pass on to others is to learn how to listen to each other and know your pain can often get in the way of seeing your spouse’s pain.

Now, we coach couples stuck in negative cycles and don’t know how to change them to healthy, positive behaviors. We help them learn the art of being kind. Remember, kindness goes a long way!

Life Application:

1. Show kindness to your spouse by complimenting them daily.

2. Work on understanding your spouse’s perspective and speak words of love and compassion when they are hurt. Give them a hug and kiss, some chocolate candy or something they like, and a smile. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires with your spouse in kindness, and thank them for sharing theirs.

Want to know more about how to have a Rockin Christian Marriage? See our online programs at www.coachustoday.com. We offer Christian relationship coaching. Explore music by Celeste on the site. Follow us on Facebook (Christian Relationship Coaching).